Sandy Clauses: 10 Bonkers Beach Rules Signs

Some say life’s a beach but to play the game of life one must play by the rules… the Beach Rules, to be exact, and wave-ing them off is NOT an option!

Slap In Deface

From the “You’re not my supervisor!” department comes this much mocked (and much marked) beach rules sign posted at San Francisco’s central waterfront. Is this sign actually (and actively) provocative? Given that the shore at Warm Water Cove features a city-authorized picnic area and park containing officially-sanctioned graffiti art, we’re guessing the sign antagonized a select group very well-equipped to express a very graphic response. (images above via Orin Zebest)

NO Means NO

You’d think folks in Allegan, MI – a township on Lake Michigan’s eastern shore – would be more tolerant of tourists drawn to the region’s dense forests and the 50,000-acre Allegan State Game Area. Instead, the message to visitors (and their dogs) appears to be a resounding “NO”… and don’t even THINK of bringing fireworks to the beach! Something to do with all that dry wood in those aforementioned dense forests, possibly. (image via Gary Millar)

Gullible’s Travels

So, you’ve taken hotel property onto the beach in Wells (Maine’s third-oldest town), where you proceeded to feed the local seagulls? Truly, you’re history’s greatest monster… and, very likely, can’t read. According to the photographer, “We didn’t break this rule but folks before us have trained the gulls to beg for food!” We don’t believe that for a second: seagulls don’t beg (or say “Please”, for that matter), they take what they want by force just, er, beak cause. (image via carolynwakefield)

An Excrement Idea

Too pooped to pick up after your pooch? Too bad – Parks & Recreation authorities in Saanich, BC (Canada) now REQUIRE dog-owners on Sayward Beach to stoop & scoop on penalty of… well, they don’t actually spell out what the penalty is. Suffice to say that since this is Canada, scofflaws will be SORRY their sloppy spaniel soiled the sandy shore. (image via OakBayMarauder)

Under the Missile Throw

If Kim Jong-Un was wise, he’d never show his face (or his Speedo-clad bod) on the beach at Treasure Island, FL. Why should he, when he’s free to throw as many missiles as he likes from the beach in sunny North Korea? Florida Man, on the other hand, must obey the Florida beach rules and that means leaving any and all missiles, dogs, glass containers, fires, litter, motor vehicles and alcoholic beverages at home, the poor Seoul. (image via jlwelsh)

Wonder what happens when trashy people disrespect the maritime environment? Check out Beach Whistles: Foolishly Flushed Tampon Applicators!

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