Summertime and the livin’ is… sleazy? Sneezy? Steamy? Squeamish? Why not all four? Indeed, as we enter the second summer of the Time Of Coronavirus, another plague has begun to stalk retail storefronts across America (and parts of Canada): people foisting their sweaty boob and/or sock money on grossed-out cashiers.
Which leads to signs like the one above, snapped at something called “Ohayocon” – presumably some sort of anime aficionado gathering in Ohio (you say Ohayo, we say Ohio) back in January of 2017. Wait a minute, people are passing sweaty boob and/or sock money in Ohio in January?? But we digress. The real issue here is a sign that declines sweaty boob money while asking potential perps not to “be that guy”. (images via Hayden Schiff)
So it has come to this… “No Sweaty Boob or Sock Money” signs have become a thing. Not so much of a thing that companies are marketing pre-printed versions, however, so desperate point-of-sale peeps in America’s more humid regions have been forced to take matters into their own clammy hands. Eww.
Anyway, we get it… well, not literally as our grateful writers are paid in a more civilized manner. That is to say, we can understand the motivations of those who would obliviously pass legal tender marinated in their own bodily fluids on to unsuspecting (mostly – these signs show that some DO suspect) innocents. (image via Thomas Altfather Good)
Close Contact, Corona Contract
C’mon, man or woman, it’s summer! It’s HOT outside! Who wants to lug around a heavy wallet in their pocket? Who even wants to wear pants that HAVE pockets? And even if you did bring your wallet to the beach or whatever, do you really want everything inside – cash, driver’s license, family photos and so on etc – infused with Eau de Bubba (or Bubbette, as the case may be)?
Just be glad folks are wearing bras and socks to keep their filthy folding lucre in – the alternatives are almost unspeakable, if certainly unwritable. The anonymous sign-writer above clearly had that possibility in mind (or that experience in memory) when they scribbled this advisory. Kudos for co-opting the “Corona Virus” boogieman as a handy excuse not to touch contaminated currency with a 10-foot latex-wrapped pole. Thanks, COVID-19. (image via Paul Sableman)
Need more proof we’re living in a germaphobic society? Check out Germ School: 7 Amazing Amusing Biohazard Signs!