Yes We Have No Durian
The durian store called and they’re all out of… durian?? S’truth – we’re not jerkin’ you around! “The owner of the place was great,” according to the photographer. “He gave us a taste of his durian ice cream. But, sadly, he had no durian.” Sadly for some, gladly for others – like The Durian Story’s neighboring businesses and their customers. Indeed, there’s a very good reason signs across southeast Asia forbid the formidably funky fruit: the olfactory impact of ripe durian ranges from nose-watering to nauseating. (images at top and above via Daniel Zemans and indigoMood)
“Strong Smelling Fruit”? That, dear readers, is an understatement of epic proportions. Durian’s potent pungency is legendary and its unen-durable stank can haunt enclosed spaces for days, prompting the establishment of a distinct micro-industry devoted to the creation of “NO DURIAN” signage. The composition and appearance of these signs can vary greatly, a reflection of the many varieties of durian itself: approximately 300 in Thailand and 100 in Malaysia. (image via Big Blue Ocean)
Durian’s big, yeah yeah yeah! It’s not small, no no no! Durian fruits can grow up to a foot long and weigh as much as 7 pounds. Combine those prodigious dimensions with a rind of sharp thorny spikes and you’ve got a tree fruit more dangerous than anything John Cleese could muster. Good thing the above shop in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia bans durians along with helmets (and pets, just to be sure) ‘cuz you’re gonna need some serious head protection while strolling through a durian orchard. (image via Yun Huang Yong)
Hold On to Your Butts
Durians mean business: serious business! How can we tell? The above sign from a KL hotel discourages smoking through the use of casual, lighthearted wording while the admonition against durians is as plain and stark as could be. Can’t say we blame ’em… a smoldering butt could certainly spark a fiery conflagration but forget some durian after checking out? That hotel could be a no-go zone for all eternity. (image via Sajith T S)
Smoking in the elevator? That’s rude and ignorant. Durian in the elevator? Truly, you’re history’s greatest monster. Mind you, there are a number of other things one could do to “soil the air” inside the confines of an elevator but the management of Singapore’s Victoria Hotel has set the focus on the two most offensive offenders. (image via Charles Haynes)
Want to avoid organic products that aren’t produce? Check out Germ School: 7 Amazing Amusing Biohazard Signs!