The jerky store called and they’re running out of you! Low-fat chance, pardner, these cut & dried jerky store signs promise plenty of choice for chew-sy carnivores.
Snackin’ With The Alien
Folks have been jawin’ on jerky since before the dawn of recorded time, and why not? Sun-dried meat is an ideal portable protein source that neither needs refrigerating nor requires preparation before eating. Best of all, many of the best meat jerkies (and Vegan jerkies as well, to be fair) are preservative-free and sustainably sourced. Any one of them would make a superb snack or mouthwatering meal for astronauts en route to or from the moon or Mars.
Speaking of which, our first sign(s) reference the iconic Alien Fresh Jerky store, a long-time landmark of sustainable sustenance situated sorta close to Area 51 in Baker, CA. There’s not a whole lot to do in Baker (pop. 750 on a good day), making Alien Fresh Jerky an ideal place to chow down on jerky, olives, pickles, ice cream and/or more while temporarily taking refuge from the blistering Death Valley sun. (images via Sarah Nichols, debaird™, and Spider.Dog)
Coming Attraction
If you’re possessed by a primal craving that demands an equally basic type of satisfaction, Climax Jerky in Breckenridge, Colorado really hits the spot… no, not THAT spot, so go drool all over your “jerked meat” someplace else. Fiery appetites of the gustatory nature, on the other hand, will be reduced to a warm afterglow flavored with buffalo, elk, beef, and presumably birds & bees. (image via Christian Heilmann)
Got The Munchies?
After visiting Tie Dye Jerky, you’ll wanna “Goback” for more… their products are surprisingly addictive. Well, maybe not so surprisingly. You’ll find this hippie-tastic hole-in-the-wall off Hwy 120 just outside Yosemite Nat’l Park in Big Oak Flat, CA. Several varieties of excellent jerky are on offer, though surprisingly (there’s that word again) none contain unicorn meat. (image via Dawn Endico)
Flute-Long Jerky
We’ve heard of one stop shops but… Jewelry, Jerky and now Flutes? Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good er, interesting weekend in Vegas with all that stuff. Good thing Bonanza isn’t all that far from Sin City – the eclectic shop has been a Sedona, AZ landmark for at least 25 years. Can you get a bejeweled flute made out of jerky, though? One can only dream. (image via April Pink)
Buy Some Bison
All the ads for buffalo jerky have got us worried these noble beasts of the plains are endangered by the rip-roarin’ jerky trade. Where is your Buffalo Stance now? Maybe the sign’s just out of order and they’re actually advertising super-spicy “Buffalo Beef Jerky”. That makes more sense, even if the location happens to be a desert where thirst-slaking water is anything but free-flowing. (image via Quinn Dombrowski)
Wanna beef about too much beef in your jerky? Check out Chew On This: 10 Strange & Unusual Meat Jerkies!
