Cold Licks: The Top 10 Tongues Stuck To Frozen Poles

Okie Dokie

(images via: Panoramio/Riskids, and AllPosters)

“Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids, in fact it’s cold as hell.” Just ask NASA, Elton John or Jaydun Seaba of Marrs Elementary School in Skiatook, OK. Yep, Okies again (sigh)… anyway, one frosty December day, young Jaydun decided to play Einstein and test the laws of thermodynamics on the school flagpole. Listen Jaydun, I knew Einstein and lemme tell ya, you’re no Einstein. We’ll let Jaydun’s proud pappy describe his pride & joy: “He adventurous, no telling what my boy will do, he love to test the water and see what things will do.” Well doggies! Granny, fix that boy some vittles to go with his glass of warm water!

Heavy Metal Kid

(images via: Rapid City Journal, South Dakota TravelMap, Cutest Blog on the Block and

There are worse things than having one’s tongue get stuck to a frozen pole… such as, getting it stuck to a frozen dumpster. Same cause & effect, what with metal being metal and kids being foolish. This little episode of Dumpster Love comes to us courtesy of Box Elder, South Dakota, a smallish burg of just over 2,000 souls. One such soul, a 9-year-old boy who shall go nameless, admitted to watching “The Christmas Story” and triple dog dared himself to stick his tongue on a frozen pole the very next day. Why hasn’t that movie been banned yet? Won’t someone think of the children? Anyway, Box Elder evidently has a shortage of poles so the budding genius chose a dumpster, probably the last thing anyone would want to lick anytime, anywhere and in any weather.

Feeling Minnesota

(images via: Kazak)

When Ethan Mohr‘s mother sent him out to get the mail one particularly frigid northern Minnesota morning, she didn’t bargain on the natural affinity of children to make every outing an adventure. When Ethan returned shouting “Mom, my tongue is bleeding!,” however, she immediately jumped to the right conclusion by asking “Did you lick a pole or something?” The end result in a nutshell was Mohr Ethan, less tongue.

Oh Deer…

(image via: CaptainDavey)

We’ll bet you a buck deers don’t watch holiday movies and speaking of which, the buck stops here at a backyard birdfeeder’s squirrel baffle. Did some faun fatale triple deer dare him? When he realized his tongue was stuck did he exclaim “DOE!”? Will this serve as a graphic warning to others of his elk? All we know for certain is that next time the situation presents itself, he won’t act all namby-bambi.

(images via: IMDB and Narwhaler)

While there’s no cure for winter, frozen poles or triple-dog-dared kids, some basic education and a little common sense can go a long way towards making winter a safer season. Referring to the former, far too many cases of Frozen Tongue Syndrome occur on school grounds and as for the latter, didn’t your Mom ever tell you not to stick your tongue out because it might STAY that way?