Are you a Helicopter Parent who’s rapidly running out of bubble wrap? Fear not, ubermoms & pops, these 8 over-the-top baby, toddler and child products will ensure your precious snowflakes remain safe, secure and effectively insulated from the weird wild world.
Zaky Infant Hand Pillow
Give your baby a big hand, even when you can’t! The Zaky Infant Hand Pillow, known more impressively as the NeuroDevelopmental-Care-System from Nurtured By Design, was originally developed to provide preemies, ill, and healthy babies with “evidence-based developmentally supportive and family centered care around the clock”. Now we know where Jerry Seinfeld acquired his irrational fear of man hands.
“Who’s bending down to give me a rainbow, everyone knows it’s Windy.” Or in this case, Windi, “the natural solution for colic, constipation, and other gas-related problems.” In other words, it’s a fart facilitator for parent-assisted windbreaking – how, er, natural. While your gassy child won’t be giving anyone any rainbows (intense or not), the Swedish-designed Windi was engineered to produce a cute “whistling” sound when gas is passed. Worst of all, there appears to be no age limit listed on the package.
Keep your friends close and your ene, umm, children closer! The Peekaru Baby Carrier Cover is somewhat like a fleece vest with two head holes. While the Peekaru was patented too late to be enjoyed by Ray Milland and Rosey Grier from The Thing With Two Heads or George & Kuato from Total Recall, it’s available right now so you and your offspring can avoid any hint of separation anxiety… you’ll have lots of time for that later.
Giggle Bug Toddler Tracker
Kids just love to explore and why not? There’s a big, bold, beautiful world out there just waiting to be discovered by BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! No, we’re not censoring this post, that’s just the Giggle Bug Toddler Tracker going off because little Aidan or Ashleigh has been out of Mommy’s sight for 8.37 seconds. Remember that wonderfully endearing scene from Stand By Me when Gordie, deep in the Maine woods, looks up from his comic book to see a deer standing so close he could almost touch it? Now imagine if Gordie’s secret special moment was spoiled by the loud, annoying BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! of a Giggle Bug Toddler Tracker.